Happy 61st Birthday David Lee Roth

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Some thoughts on your birthday. And what you taught ME about Life and Rock and  Roll

We are at the Hilton in Baltimore, line-up was some insignificant band supporting BOC, I forget who.  But it wasn’t The  Who, that’s for sure.  We had no interest in BOC, we were very young   then and they weren’t pretty enough for the infamous Sherry and Shari. Who weren’t infamous then, but were certainly working on it as fast and as furiously as we could. But we were really just little kids.

We were there to see the Hottest , Baddest Boys on the Rock Scene, the Raucous Rodeo Clowns and Rock and Roll Gods of the late seventies, VAN HALEN, who were also on the bill.

Alex had been terrorizing the lobby all afternoon. His favorite trick was to ride up and down in the elevator with an aerosol spray paint can, and every time the doors would open he would take a lighter and shoot a flaming fireball at the unsuspecting women and children trying to board. It was hilarious at 3 am. Not so funny at 4 in the afternoon.

The Miami dolphins were staying in the same hotel. They were infuriated at all the babes in the place were paying ANY attention to them. So they had taken to riding those huge rolling luggage carts drunkenly up and down the corridors begging for favors! HA! We were rock chicks. They didn’t stand a chance.

At last call Diamond Dave had decided that all the ancient, slutty, worn out local groupies at the party were pretty much the best of the bunch and all there was to offer and there would be no Malibu Barbie’s arriving anytime in the near future to answer his Rock God prayers so I was the lucky winner of that nights” Win a date with Dave” lottery.

As we went upstairs in the elevator at last call one of the guys in BOC says to Dave

” Robbing the ice cream parlors, are we now?” (I looked about 12 until I was thirty)

I had lost the other Shari hours earlier, no idea how, when, where or why (until morning) Turns out she and Eddie had disappeared way earlier. Evidently he didn’t wait for last call, or divine intervention, when he saw what HE liked, he WENT for it

So after several fabulous hours with just a gigalo, he says to me

” Hey babe, I’m pretty hungry, how about you go get me a couple burgers?

And hands me a couple of hundred dollar bills. This seems A Bit excessive to me, burgers being about two bucks each, and I thought it a TAD inconsiderate to send me OUT ONTO THE STREETS OF THE SLUMS OF DOWNTOWN BALTIMORE AT FOUR AM, but I’m a game girl, and didn’t want to be rude and  I was trying to be nice

(Looking back I wonder…Hmmm, I wonder if MAYBE, he was TRYING to GET RID OF ME! Lol  ! )

Nawwww   I’m sure he was just hungry after all that excitement. Well, I wasn’t  that excited. Dave was the kind of guy who thought the privilege of being with him was reward enough in itself  so even at my tender age i was pretty unimpressed. But he was. And surprised.

As I said, I was a lot older than I looked.

BELIEVE IT OR Not, I actually was so young and stupid I went out on the deserted streets in the dark in the murder capital of the nation, found a Jack in the box open at four am and came back WITH two burgers , both for Dave ( mustard and onions, I took a guess) and didn’t get myself ANYTHING, after all,   it was HIS money. And I forgot to ask if that would be okay! LOL

So I come back twenty minutes later and knock on the door…

He’s like” WHAT? “and I’m like…” back with the burgers” …

and he’s like… “SERIOUSLY? “

But he must have been hungry (or in a complete state of shock I returned instead of robbing him and heading off on my merry way) because instead telling me to fuck off he let me in and I was there until lunch time the next day. I guess the burgers gave him a second wind. When it was time to go I tracked down Shari, or rather Dave did; he knew I wasn’t leaving without her.   And he was dying to have me gone.

But to his credit, he ddidn’t have the chutzpah to come out and say so.  Or the lack of common decency to turn someone so young and naïve out on the streets AGAIN at five am so he could be left alone to sleep in peace. Although, I would have been like “OHHHHHH, WHY didn’t you just SAY SO? Okay. “

And we found her in Eddie’s room.  Still wearing the stockings and stilettos she had been sporting the night before, and nothing else, although a bit worse for wear and tear!

(Hey Valerie Bertinelli, don’t look so INNOCENT! I KNOW STUFF ABOUT YOU)

We had no idea how we are going to get home but when Eddie offered Shari a hundred dollar bill for cab fare ( much classier than Dave trying to trick me into sneaking out on him in the middle of the night) I finally put all the pieces together and how we laughed about how shocked ( and pissed off ) he must have been when i knocked on the hotel room door with the food.

And I decided that was the first and last time I was going to go off with a pretty boy with no brains and no real interest in me except as the the only decent option left on an off night. From now on, it was only going to be people I really liked,  and who really liked me back and wanted more than one night and  not me to be the kind of girl who would take the money and run.

ANY WAY…Happy Sixty  first  Birthday  you rock and roll bad boy, From the Sherry Fairy

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Anyway there’s a lot more to tell but that’s another story for another time….

When THE BOYS COME BACK!

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4 Comments

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  1. This is actually one of the rare moments a Dave groupie actually posted something online about those nefarious glory years of VH debauchery! I wish I could hear more stories like this, since I was one of the millions of pubescent boys idolizing “Diamond Dave” and living vicariously through his rock god sex life back in the 80’s LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is actually one of the rare moments a Dave groupie actually posted something online about those nefarious glory years of VH debauchery! I wish I could hear more stories like this, since I was one of the millions of pubescent boys idolizing “Diamond Dave” and living vicariously through his rock god sex life back in the 80’s LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

I think your thoughts are worth way more than a nickel? It seems a bit pricey for mine. Good thing they are free!

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